Count Your Blessings

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Each Thanksgiving, my father would leave five kernels of corn by our plates. The backdrop for this family gathering was always a formal, Southern celebration held in the dining room with the Royal Copenhagen china and silver. The week before the festivities, I would sit in the kitchen and help my parents polish each silver fork, knife and spoon until they sparkled. My dad would whistle as he prepared the homemade cornbread in my grandmother’s cast iron griddle for the dressing while my mother baked the pecan pie and basted the turkey.
   
After each Thanksgiving dinner, my dad would tell us the story of the Pilgrims and how they faced starvation during that first winter. Each Pilgrim was allotted only five kernels of corn for a daily sustenance. As a very young girl, I confess that I enjoyed flicking these kernels of corn towards my brothers’ plates. But as I got older, I better understood the solemnity of this tradition. Each of us would take turns lifting the kernels by our plate and counting aloud five blessings – somehow these five kernels became three kernels as the years passed. Perhaps with two sons and a squirming daughter, my parents decided to shorten this tradition to keep our attention. However, this tangible act of giving thanks and counting our blessings was a lesson from childhood that I still remember.

Even today, this is special family tradition that I keep in an effort to remind my daughters to count their blessings, too. For simplicity sake, I use three “unpopped” popcorn kernels or frozen corn. I don’t always get around to polishing the silver, but I do try to make Thanksgiving dinner a time of remembrance and gratitude to God for all that He has done. Perhaps you can add this special touch of thanks at your table, too.  Let me know how it goes.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Margaret McSweeney

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A Cluttered Life

image: greenhousearts.com

by Margaret McSweeney

Last week I was officially diagnosed with something that I had suspected for awhile:  Adult AD/HD – not the hyperactivity type, but the “inattentive” type.  As I discussed my childhood with the doctor, I realized that my whole life I have had to work extra hard to stay focused and organized. In debating whether or not to share this information, I decided that perhaps my candor and transparency might help someone else who is going through the frustration of trying to balance the challenges.

Just because someone has AD/HD does not mean that he/she is not intelligent or able to succeed.  I graduated Magna Cum Laude from college and earned a master’s degree in international business; I lived in Brazil and even worked my way up to become a vice president at a very large New York City bank.  In retrospect, I realize that I always had to work a bit harder to stay focused – As a student, I would constantly misplace notes and papers from class, and as an adult, I constantly misplace the keys and my children’s papers from school.  So right now, I would like to say a special “thank you” to all my friends from elementary school, high school, college and graduate school who shared their notes.  In addition, I would like to say a special “thank you “to other moms who have faxed over school papers and cheerleading forms I have lost.  Thank you for your patience, understanding and support.

As I approach the second half of my life (I will be 49 in March), I look forward to having more focus and a greater productivity – both personally and professionally.  I even plan to “declutter” my closets along with my characters.  Yes, as I rewrite my first novel yet again, I plan to simplify and streamline the story.   I will tackle head-on the clutter in my life that holds me back.  A friend of mine mentioned to me about how her friend filled up a glass jar with pieces of paper of things that needed to get done around the house.  Then, each weekend, her friend would pick a piece of paper from the jar and focus on that project.  Will you join me for this challenge, too?

What would you like to “declutter” in your life?  What projects would you write down on those pieces of paper to put in the jar?  What does your jar look like?  Are you going to decorate it? Where will you keep the jar? Please send pictures along with your progress.  Together we can leave behind a cluttered life.  

Our messes are a canvas for God’s masterpieces.

by Pearl Girl author Jennifer Degler

 “…this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” John 9:3b

 “Jake says he isn’t completing his schoolwork because he doesn’t know the alphabet.”

I couldn’t believe what my son’s kindergarten teacher said. Six-year-old Jake could sing the alphabet song, loved books, and after three years of preschool, he surely knew his letters. No doubt, he was being hard-headed (like his dad) and refusing to do his schoolwork.

That evening as I read to him, I pointed to the letter “B” and asked, “Jake, what letter is that?”
  
“I don’t know.”
   
Thinking he was teasing, I asked again, “What letter is that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do,” I insisted. “What letter is that?”

“Mommy, I don’t know!”

Certain he was being stubborn, I snapped, “You do too know! Quit fooling around and tell me what letter that is!”

Silence…and then with tears of hot shame in his eyes, Jake whispered, “Mommy, I really don’t know that letter.”

Now it was my turn to feel ashamed—and afraid. How could Jake not know the alphabet?

 Extensive testing revealed that our intellectually bright son was learning disabled (LD)—in reading, writing, and arithmetic—and at severe risk of complete reading failure. Then, an additional diagnosis—attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Was this too much for one little boy to overcome? It sure felt like too much for one worried mom to overcome.

Trying to feel more in control, I read stacks of LD and ADHD books, but only the bad news registered in my overloaded, anxious mind. Like a paint-by-numbers canvas, I had Jake’s life planned out—a bright and beautiful masterpiece that would include the honor roll and college scholarships—and nowhere was there room for special education teachers, tutors, medications, etc. Now I was seeing only a grey, dismal mess where Jake would be lucky to graduate high school, let alone go to college. I felt angry at God for the unfairness of it all.

Resentment, fear, and guilt gnawed at me. Jake’s problems had to be my fault somehow. I racked my brain for what I could have done wrong during my pregnancy with him. Did I forget to take my prenatal vitamin too many times? How could I be so careless? And even though Jake was diagnosed relatively early, why didn’t I catch it earlier? As a clinical psychologist, I evaluated children for these problems—how could I miss this in my own child? Or maybe God, recognizing my lifelong struggle with pride and perfectionism, wanted to teach me a lesson in humility by giving me a less-than-perfect child. Was my child being punished because of my sin?

Finally, I put away the depressing books, resigned myself and Jake to a disappointing future, and opened my Bible. I wasn’t expecting God to speak—actually, I just wanted to complete that week’s Bible study lesson so I could check it off my list—so I turned to John 9 with a “let’s-get-this-over-with” attitude. 

As Jesus went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.  John 9:1-3

Sometimes God’s grace just comes out of nowhere like a surprisingly welcome two by four wallop to our spirit. The crushing guilt and hopelessness lifted as God said, “Jennifer, you are not to blame for Jake’s disabilities. All of this has happened to him so that everyone will see My power and glorify Me when I work a miracle in Jake’s life. His life will be a canvas for my best work.”

I saw a mess; God saw a potential masterpiece. Like many works of art, Jake’s miracle took years of effort, but how my faith has grown in the process! God has repeatedly provided loving teachers who resisted labels and brought out the best in Jake. God supplied funds for specialized tutoring. Why did I ever worry that God would provide the materials necessary for His own work in progress?

Last year, at Jake’s fifth grade graduation ceremony, tears of joy filled my eyes as I watched the boy “who might never read” being honored as the Outstanding Student in his classroom. The boy who “couldn’t sit still” received the Outstanding Physical Education student award (how ironic!). He even made the Honor Roll, doing the same work as his peers. A bright and beautiful masterpiece, unveiled for all to see God’s best work displayed.

And God whispered, “Ta Dah!”

~~

Jennifer Degler, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, life coach, CWIVES founder, and co-author of No More Christian Nice Girl: How Just Being Nice—Instead of Good—Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends.

She has appeared on television, radio, and in print as an expert in life coaching, mental health, and female sexuality. A frequent speaker at women’s events and marriage retreats, Jennifer is known for her entertaining and engaging presentations that make audiences laugh while they learn.

She also maintains a counseling practice seeing adults, children, and couples for psychotherapy. She has served as the Ethics Chair for the Kentucky Psychological Association and is also a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. Jennifer has been married to her high school sweetheart for twenty-three years, and they live in central Kentucky with their two teenage children.

For additional information, please see www.jenniferdegler.com.

How To Save A Life

The other weekend I was in California with my husband to celebrate his 45th birthday.  We went to the Tom Petty concert at The Hollywood Bowl and then enjoyed a delectable dessert at Patisserie, a whimsical dessert place in Beverly Hills.  My taste buds danced the samba when I sampled the hot chocolate mousse with pear sorbet and salty hazelnut praline.

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The next afternoon while Dave was on business calls, I luxuriated at the pool of the lovely hotel where we were staying.  Actually, I was reading the Bible, since I had committed to a “Read the Bible in 90 Days” program with the women’s Bible Study group at my church.  I confess that I was and still am many pages behind.  Suddenly, I was distracted by gasps and cries of “Help!” I glanced up and saw a hotel employee jump into the pool and pull up a lifeless young boy in his hands.  A frantic father screamed “Does anyone know CPR?”  I looked around, and no one responded.  Of all of the many people at the pool, no one knew how to save a life.  Except for one gentleman who happened to be at the fitness center working out.  He rushed to the side of the young boy and performed CPR.  Someone called 911 while another woman calmed the young friend of the lifeless boy.  All I could do was pray.  And during those very tense moments, I prayed without ceasing.  The miracle is that the young boy soon coughed and awoke.  The medics arrived and rushed him to the hospital.  It was his birthday.  I later learned that he was quickly released from the emergency room and recovered immediately.  An incredible answer to prayer.

Here is the interesting post script.  I approached the gentleman who had performed CPR and thanked him for taking the time to learn how to perform CPR so he could save this young boy’s life.  I said “You were meant to be here today.”  I shared that all I could do was pray for him and the child.  This “good Samaritan” was still shaking.  “May I please hug you?” he asked. “I’m just still so shaken up.”  I shared a brief hug with a stranger.  Then, in the ladies’ room, I saw the woman who had comforted the young friend of the boy. 

“Thank you for doing what you did,” I said.  “All I could do was sit there and pray.”  The young mom was shaking, too.  “I think prayer had a lot to do with him being okay.  All that I can think about right now is that I have a two year old daughter, and I don’t know CPR. As soon as I return home, I’m signing up for a class.”  I commented that she was meant to be where she was today.  This young mom asked if she could hug me, and we both acknowledged that this whole miraculous experience was a reminder of God’s presence.  Although I will never see these people again, we will always share a unique and uniting experience. 

You, too, can learn how to “save a life”.  Here is a link to the Red Cross with information about how and where to learn CPR. Questions to ponder:  Have you ever performed CPR? Have you ever witnessed this life giving act?

In other news...

Be sure to catch the fun Flip Clip videos over at From Finance to Fiction with Robin Jones Gunn and Linda Evans Shepherd.

Also, I wrote a response to the Waiting for Superman documentary. Have you seen it? What did you think?

Grab Your Cape!

Waiting for Superman  has made us all realize that change needs to happen within our educational system.  However, this paradigm shift in education will take time.  So what can be done immediately while a longer term plan is put into place?  The answer: Grab your cape and become a superhero!  

Growing up in Birmingham, Alabama during the late 1960s and 1970s, I learned the importance of education.  My mother was an English teacher at a local high school, and my father was then Dean of the Music School at Samford University.  My mother always taught me that “Education levels the playing field.”  That is why she would take an hour each week to sit down at the kitchen table with Flora, our African American cleaning lady, and teach her how to read and write.  Years later when Flora died from cancer, her sisters told my mother that a highlight of Flora’s life was learning how to read and write during those hours spent at the kitchen table with my mother.  Flora no longer had to sign her name with an “x” and she could read what she was signing. Even in her seventies, my mother still volunteered at local high schools and tutored at-risk students. She also designed remedial English programs to help struggling students understand the basic concepts of grammar.

Read the rest here.

Remember…

Remember the prisoners as if chained with them, and those who are mistreated, since you yourselves are in the body also (Hebrews 13:3, NKJV).

 It’s obvious that the above admonition to “remember the prisoners…and those who are mistreated” is referring to other believers, since the verse ends with “…you yourselves are in the body ALSO” (emphasis added). Most often, however, this verse is used to encourage believers to minister to prisoners, regardless of the reason they are behind bars or whether or not they are Christians.
 
That is certainly a valid use of this verse, but even more so is the application to believers who are in prison and/or mistreated simply because they are Christians. And that goes on in countries around the world, each and every day. That very focus is the theme in both my current contemporary series, as well as my stand-alone historical. I’m discovering an interesting difference in the way these books are received, however. Though the contemporary stories of suffering Christians are applauded by some, others have told me they’re uncomfortable and disturbed by reading about something “so depressing going on today.” The historical novel, on the other hand, though dealing with the same topic in a third-century context, doesn’t seem to evoke the same uncomfortable response. Is it because it happened so long ago and therefore doesn’t call us to face the fact that persecution of Christians continues today—in fact, at a much higher rate than at any other time in history?

“Remember the prisoners…and those who are mistreated.” That’s not a suggestion, but rather a command. My next series will take that command a step farther—this time to include the estimated 27 million people around the world (including right here in America!) who are currently enslaved by human traffickers. The Scriptures tell us that we are to “remember” them “as if chained with them.” I must confess that if I were physically enslaved with them, I would suddenly understand another scriptural admonition to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Therefore, I dare not make light of Hebrews 13:3’s command to identify with those who are suffering.

One day recently, however, God used a seemingly accidental encounter to expand my vision a bit farther. I was in town running errands when I spotted a young homeless couple named Randy and Laurie. I’ve encountered and prayed with them before, and when they saw me they ran toward me and thanked me for always being so kind to them. “Most people won’t even look at us,” they explained. “But you touched us and prayed with us. Thank you.”

I must confess that on other occasions I have averted my eyes so as not to be disturbed by someone’s need, but God says to “remember” them as if I too were in their condition. Thank you, Randy and Laurie, for allowing God to use you to remind me that those who are chained and mistreated can also include the homeless. Sort of gives a whole new meaning to the old saying, “There but for the grace of God,” doesn’t it?
 
Will you join me in remembering those in chains and those who are mistreated and suffering around the world (and maybe right here in our own hometown) today? Pray without ceasing that God will comfort, protect, and rescue them, for we ourselves “are in the body also.”

***

Kathi Macias is a blogtalkradio host and an award-winning author of more than 30 books, including the popular Extreme Devotion fiction series from New Hope Publishers and Valeria’s Cross from Abingdon Press. A wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, Kathi lives in Southern California with her husband, Al, where they spend their free time riding Al’s Harley—hence, her “road name” of Easy Writer!