Pearl Girls: Guest Blogger ... Holley Gerth

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Guest Blogger ... Holley Gerth

I sat on the back deck thinking about what a failure I’d been.

What must God think of me?

I was writing in my journal as I had been every day.

Lately, I felt like God had been impressing on me to only write good things—compliments people gave me, ways He used me, blessings in my life. I didn’t know why He wanted me to do this, but I felt compelled to do it.

But on this morning I sat and stared at the blank page. I began to write about my mistake. I finished and looked at the black and white evidence that I was a failure yet again.

Then I heard a whisper in my heart, “Rip out the page.”

I paused and listened closer, “Rip out the page.”

“God, what are you saying? What do you mean rip out the page? I need to record this mistake. I need to remember it.”

Again the clear message came, “Rip out the page.”

I touched the white page of my journal, now covered with my writing. Then slowly I pulled from top to bottom. The paper made a sharp sound as it separated from the journal. All that was left were a few fragments of white paper where my mistake had once been. The picture couldn’t have been clearer.

Forgiveness.

Mercy.

Grace.

It was right there on the clean, white pages of my journal.

God whispered to my heart again. “All of the mistakes and failures that you remember, all the secrets you run from, all the regrets and remorse…they are all gone. Every one of them has been torn from the story of your life. You are forgiven. You are accepted. You are loved.”

My heart was overwhelmed.

I kept thinking about what God had spoken to me on the deck. Later in the morning, I was praying about it again. This time God added something more to what He had whispered.

“Daughter, do you know why I wanted you to keep a ‘good things’ journal? It’s because that’s what my journal about you is like. If you were to read the story of your life, that’s what you would read. Not mistakes or failures, but the times you were a blessing, the ways you please me, the love you show others. The good things I think about you.”

God’s love was so real and strong, so much bigger than I even had imagined.

I realized at that moment that God loves me. He doesn’t just tolerate me. He doesn’t just put up with me because I’m a Christian and he has to. He really, truly loves me.

If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins...who could stand?But with you there is forgiveness.
PSALM 130:3-4 NIV

So wherever you are, whatever mistake you have written in the journal of your life, know that God has ripped it from the pages. There’s only love. There’s only grace.

The story of your life is far different than you imagined

…

and the Author loves you far more than you ever dared to dream.

Ready to explore “The Rest of Your Story”? Join Holley for an exciting series on her blog!

_______________________________

Holley Gerth is an award-winning writer and editorial director for DaySpring. Her devotional book, Rain on Me: Devotions of Hope and Encouragement for Difficult Times(Summerside Press) is now available online and in bookstores. Holley is also a counseling intern for the women’s ministry and care center of a mega church with close to 10,000 members. She has been married to her college sweetheart, Mark, for almost nine years. Holley is not a morning person and once put chocolate on her alarm clock to bribe herself but ate it and went back to bed. You’re invited to find encouragement any time of day on her blog,Heart to Heart with Holley.

16 Comments:

At February 9, 2010 3:36 AM , Kristen @ Moms Sharpening Moms said...: Holley...just when I think I couldn't love you more, you up and show me that I can. I love the part where you write:

"So wherever you are, whatever mistake you have written in the journal of your life, know that God has ripped it from the pages. There’s only love. There’s only grace."

Bawling my eyes out.

I absolutely love the mental picture you create of your slate wiped clean. What a tangible, beautiful portrait of forgiveness. I am going to remember this.

Thank you so much for this, Holley.
At February 9, 2010 5:34 AM , Anonymous said...: Dear Holley,

I agree with Kristen. I love you and I love this post. It's the sweetest thing. What a way to start my day! I also love the part where you write:

"The story of your life is far different than you imagined
… and the Author loves you far more than you ever dared to dream." Wow!

Thank you, Holley! and Blessings!

Becky
At February 9, 2010 9:20 AM , Paula Jean said...: Lovely.
At February 9, 2010 10:20 AM , Lisa B @ simply His said...: I *love* this post. Thanks Holley for writing it. I so very often focus on my mistakes and totally overlook all the good stuff. Then I wonder how in the world can God love me? Because I screw up all the time! But His love isn't of this world, and for that I'm thankful!
At February 9, 2010 10:43 AM , Communicating Christ Blog said...: What a beautiful picture of how God cleans our hearts. He doesn't want us to just cover our sin. He wants us to get it out, repent of it and then He can turn the sheets white again by His word. Beautiful that He allowed you to be part of that process too. So very beautiful!

Cindy Lou
At February 9, 2010 10:54 AM , Genny said...: This is beautiful, Holley. Thank you once again for sharing your heart and for the awesome reminder of how loving God is. I think sometimes it can be so easy to hold onto mistakes. But--you're right--that's not what He wants.

I loved this! And I'm so happy to discover this beautiful blog here too. Thank you!

Genny

http://www.mycup2yours.com
At February 9, 2010 11:04 AM , Anonymous said...: Holley, as I was reading, God used your words to help me understand why I had recently ripped out pages of my journal. Like you I stared at the 'hole' and felt a piece of me go with it. Now I understand why it is so important to do as Paul implores us in Philippians 4:8 Whatever is good...think on these things.

As the song says:
'I can see clearly now the rain is gone...It's going to be a bright sunshiny day!'

Thank you for your faithfulness.
At February 9, 2010 12:51 PM , Laura said...: Love, love, love this post!!! Sharing it with my friends!!!
At February 9, 2010 1:32 PM , shashi said...: Holley: I was so moved...I have been behind in reading your blogs b/c our lives have been messy lately...I think my precious baby boy (8 y/o) is depressed. It is breaking my heart and of course as a mother I feel this must be my fault. So, I needed to read your blog today...I had to resist the temptation to wait until I had time to go back and read in chronological order and get caught up. Thank you.

And then, I scrolled down and saw the Scripture that the Spirit gave me in my prayers last night. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. What a gift to receive this confirmation. So today, I am at least doubly good by a very PRECIOUS SAVIOR!
At February 9, 2010 3:32 PM , Anonymous said...: What a great reminder! It's hard to remember that we are forgiven and start from scratch with our Father each new day. He knows we forget sometimes and humanity is flawed. I heard once that the broken pieces in us let the light through. I don't suppose we're supposed to try and be perfect. I think I've pretty much given up on that. I'm just trying to be more loving. If I wear those glasses, I can see much more beauty as it all falls together amidst the light of that love. Thanks so much for your beautiful insights! God Bless! :D
At February 9, 2010 9:18 PM , C H R I S T I said...: You amaze me daily in your writing...Can I just say I love you!
At February 9, 2010 9:21 PM , Linda said...: Holley - the Lord has been speaking these words to me in one way or another over the past week or so. Ever since I began to rehearse once again all the horrible failings of my life. I was walking, praying and suddenly found myself back in that pit of guilt and despair.
But God.....He began to whisper the very words you have written into my heart, through a devotional, through the pages of my Bible Study, in the words of a friend - and now here.
He does, indeed, love us with a love we can hardly take in. I am so thankful
And thankful for your words.
At February 9, 2010 11:46 PM , bahava said...: I've been coming back to this post all day in my head...wrestling with what grace looks like in conjunction with the scars and stories that sometimes/oftentimes come out of these "mess-up" moments. Still chewing on it...and side note, I love the illustration and tangible picture of ripping the page out.
At February 10, 2010 12:31 AM , Marcy said...: What a wonderful God we serve!

When He looks at us...all He sees is Jesus and His shed blood, that washes us white as snow.

Clean white pages on which to write our new lives in Him.
At February 10, 2010 9:42 PM , dawn said...: Oh Holley. Once again...your words create a picture I can hold on to. And what an incredible picture of God's Grace.

Thank you!
At February 11, 2010 12:24 PM , Plays with Purpose said...: Thank you Holley for a simple picture book of His story! As I read your blog, I began ripping the pages from my heart's journal one by one. What freedom he brings! Thank you for encouraging me to see things with the eyes of Jesus!

God bless you on your blogging journey as you are blessing us!